Invisible Walls
My Reiki teaching, “Just for today, do not anger”, was difficult at times.
I was that angry person. I was angry at myself and the world around me.
To the outside world, I looked happy, smile on my face and said all the right things. Anyone who didn’t know me well, didn’t know what was brewing beneath. I felt like I was simmering in a hot pot of anger waiting to explode. I was snappy, I felt numb to my emotions, I felt alone.
I knew I couldn’t continue...
My exquisite journey started as a knees on the closet floor, screaming and sobbing rock bottom moment as awareness began and ego started to loosen its grip on my mind. ...Oh, it tried... with fists raised, to fight back and gain the control, to get the upper hand. It was not pretty. It was confusing. It was dark. It was lonely. It was unhealthy. It was a constant struggle of shifting power between ego and my true self. It was scary to step beyond the numbed emotional barrier I had created. The protective barrier I surrounded myself in, my safe haven, where I couldn’t feel my emotions or connect with those around me.
I was small, angry, unattached and numb.
It was Depression.
And so began the process of taking back my power and stop listening to ego. The anger that was constantly brewing, slowly dissipated and was replaced with joy and love for myself, my family, my friends and life again.
How did I shift out of the cold dark numb place?
The answer comes from pushing through the invisible walls that bound me. Sounds simple but at the time wasn’t! But what I know now, in hindsight, is that it really didn’t have to be as hard as I made it!!!
Ego is designed to protect us from threat, pain, enemy, the unknown and escalates our fears to keep us safe. When we listen, it gains power.
Beyond my invisible wall was my unknown, my fear of judgement from others; my shame, my guilt, my regrets. It wasn’t until I became aware of the invisible wall, which mouthed “Who do you think you are?”, “You are no healer”, "You’re not good enough” that I started to shift out of the fear that held me. I started to see the TRUTH!
Ego lies!
💥 I AM good enough.
💥 I AM a Healer.
💥 I AM Human.
I have made mistakes along the way but they do not control me or hold me captive any longer.
“Sometimes you fall down because there is something down there you are supposed to find” - Anonymous. This is one of my favourite quotes. Allowing our mistakes to be lessons in life is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. The other gift is Forgiveness of yourself and others. Forgiveness dissolves invisible walls almost instantly!!
Ego held me from stepping into my true power, my love for myself, my family and my Reiki passion in this life.
This journey of self awareness can be hard at times but with reiki supporting me, it gets easier to step back away from ego thoughts. Now, I find easier to go with the flow of life, to grow personally as I continue to shed the layers of poor ideals, limiting beliefs about myself to expose the true me.
I am having a human experience and living my life is the journey and the reward.
And so, I ask you today... What invisible wall do you want to break down?
The true you is standing behind it.
Reiki can help you to see your wall, help you to see where you are stalled and move you forward along your own soul journey. Message me today and we can work together to break down your invisible wall so you can see your own truth.
Under great pain lies a beautiful lesson that when nurtured can grow into an amazing exquisite journey ❤️
Namaste 🙏
Nadine
